Temple of the Dark Moon

21 ways to get a girl to fall in love with you. 19 things to do to keep her happy. 30 things to do to make her happy. and the list goes on and on and on. let me declare henceforth that im absolutely not against anyone falling in-love…is already in love or want and wish to fall in love. i believe your concept is very important for this world to survive. but then again, ppl in-love, wanna fall in love, already in love sometimes just get on my nerves. just look at the things they post on the net…21 ways to do this, and that and this and that. i mean come on~ this is no TV drama or comic book as you wish it to be~.

i absolutely find postings of what to do to keep her and how many things to do make her happy revolting. it turns my stomach inside out. and quite frankly; L.A.M.E

it will always involve kiss her all the time, hug her all the time bla bla bla… and some post will involve worshipping her as a goddess and that she can do anything in the world and guys should just go with the flow. and not to forget, say yes to all her demands. in a way, these post tell you to do everything in the world for her be it right or wrong. she is lord, u are mortal. it all sounds sooooooo fantastical isnt it? but then again, it wouldnt surprise me if ppl do it… for a period at least. but i detect a very unhealthy sense of ‘love’ and what to do to keep your partners.

first of, the things to do to keep her and bla bla bla. it is in my opinion that such a post is actually degrading female more than glorifying them. why? it enforces the idea of inequality. that women only receive and men only give. and in that way, we enforce the gender role of who should do what kind of chores with the mindset in mind. it enforces the stereotype that women are these unreasonable creatures that must always have it their way or they will rain hell. those actions then translate to actions not done in the name of respect or love… but in the name of a means to an end. those post indirectly objectifies women. they become objects that u can acquire by following the so called set of actions. it’s as if all women are so robotic that these set of rules will keep them. keep them? are women animals or something? no one belongs to anyone in the first place..the word ‘keep’ should never be used in the first place.

second, it degrades the very sanctity to be human. always say yes? are u an idiot that has no conscience? so in order to ‘keep’ your partner u will fore go your opinions and agree? if you really love her would u not want to present your opinions should u find that her ideas or opinions are off the mark? will u let her continue her mistake just because u want to be agreeable and make her happy? I leave those answers to you ppl who post and repost those absurd msgs.

3rd, i have once read a post that a guy should dump his frens and put her as his priority. romantic no doubt. but the greatest flaw in action if i ever saw one. only ppl naive enough would even think of such a course of action. yes, to fall in love is a beautiful and intoxicating thing. i have seen it countless times and must accept that there must be some unexplainable force that meddles the brains. however, that is the point. at the start of the relationship, he or she will be the centre of your universe. and u are content with just him or her with you all the time. after all, its a budding of the rose… everything seems beautiful and perfect.

if you are truly to throw away your friends just to me her your priority all the time, there will come a time when u will regret your actions. expert in relatioships have always warned of such actions. because sooner or later u will realise that u want to hang out with other ppl other than you partner all the time. but if you have dump your friends and make her your priority all the time, then i suggest u be prepared to be dumped as well.

all those post are basically based on a set of ideal relationships. which sadly is never the case. to always give and ask for nothing in return is nothingless of noble and idiocy. have no one ever heard of give and take? and whether u know or not… it is give and take that sustains a relationship. always giving may seem like the perfect thing to do. and yes, it may last for the few couple of months or years maybe… but i guarantee, there will come a time where it will reach breaking point and snap! and what ever happens next; really depend on your maturity to handle the problem. and if your partner only believes in taking and rarely gives… its a tell tale sign that something is seriously wrong.

the greatest hurdle one must address in a relationship is ego. there will be times when egos will be hurt. and whether u will let it go or defend it will dictate the result of a relationship. i have seen many things fall apart because of ego. no one just want to compromise. everyone wants to win. and in the end, everyone went back as losers. sure i have never been in a relationship before. but it is precisely that that allows me to observe with logic and not be influenced by emotional feelings. an observer can see things ppl inside the circle cannot and vice versa.

the last i can think of is communication. not the crap that u two talk for hours in the cafe. communication is able to get your msg across the other side. address problems maturely. understand the other parties needs and sensitivities. that is communication. i obviously cannot tell anyone in the world how to do it. so go figure.

its of course not all bad from the post. touch is one the most powerful sensation for a human being. asians being low touch culture hinders most ppl from touching. studies have shown to touch a human being, it actually releases so much more feel good hormone than sweet talking. don just do it to ‘keep’ your partner. do it because u want to.

Pls keep in mind that this is the REAl world. NOT tv dramas. as idealistic you may wish your relationship to be, it will most probably not be. that is the cold hard truth. there is much more than just hugging and kissing.